| cause i'll never be with you |
[ ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 infuriated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Endless Skies-VNV Nation |
] |
Yeah, yeah I believe you care.
In that not really kinda way.
I don't understand this. Sam brought up a good point. No one understands me. No one. No one close to me gets it. I'm so tired of it. The people who are supposed to know me the best, no me the least. Even the person that is my nights and days doesn't get it. I'm bipolar, apparently. But I don't understand. How does this happen?
Whatever.
Fuck it.
I'm tired.
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| too true for words |
[ ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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I'm Still Here- Johnny Rzeznik |
] |
"Love is friendship set on fire."
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| Do you.. |
[ ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Remember the Name-Fort Minor |
] |
know me at all?
Quiz! Click! NOOOOW!
You'll fail, but you should try anyways.
:)
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| spin me round again |
[ ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hide And Seek-Imogen Heap |
] |
Today was just one of those days.
One of those days that makes you question every thing you know to be true. Mostly everything I believe about him. I believed that he was here to save me. I believed that it would be hard to feel more than just care about anyone ever again. I believed that no one would ever be able to make me feel happy again. I was starting this off on a pessimist foot. Who can blame me? No one.
But lately, and especially today, it changed.
My laughs are real. I care less and love more. What a scary thing to say. I feel like busting out a move. :) Am I ready for this? He is the cutest, and sweetest boy I've known in a long time. He plays along with my crazy child-like games. We can laugh at ourselves when we say something so dorky, you just have to. Could I do this again? Is my heart too cold?
I should just talk to him.
And as I start to cry, it just makes me want to see him again. We spent close to 11 hours together today. God I wish he just went to Seminole. Instead of telling him about my day, each day, he'd be there and he could see it. But nooooo.. :( Oh well.
Michael...
|
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| where we are |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Norah Jones |
] |
Love
What is this overused term put to anyone someone feels close to?
No websters version, or inablility to put it to words.
Love..
What is it?
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| paint me beautiful |
[ ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 chipper |
] |
Tonight was hilarious.
Filled with everything I love about Michael and I.
So, basically the best time I've had all weekend.
And tomorrow we paint!
:D
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|
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Secondhand Serenade |
] |
( A sorry to the bonfire gang )
Friday was crazy.
Highlights:
Having Josh actually go with me somewhere
Seeing Sam, even if for only a second
The infamous line, "I'm so tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane."
Sam and I fighting the good fight to be part of the 'octagon', no not circle 'octagon' xD
Yesterday was pretty
Highlights:
Going to Millenia
Taking pictures of Phil and Ryan being gayrific
A gay guy wanting Ryan's size for the ugliest jacket on the planet
$9 dollar cheesecake, orgasmic
Messing around with Michael in the Discovery Channel store
Robert in general
The ride home/hanging out at the house with Michael
We have our ups and downs, but in the end I know we both know the other cares and everything turns out beautifully.
I can't wait to start actually going to church again. I've been feeling pretty bad about that lately. I've missed two sundays in a row now, and at least 2 wednesdays. Yeah, I need to. I think thats pretty clear. Plus, Cassie isn't herself, maybe she needs someone to remind her that someone will always love her out in that heart-breaking world we live in.
I still haven't updated about our trip to Winter Park. Eventually.
<3
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[ ] |
| [ |
mood |
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 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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VNV- Chrome Edit |
] |
These days I'm starting to forget what a best friend is. Up to now I've always judged best friend from friend from the connection or just that gut feeling that we're destined to be there for one another, but now.. I've lost that. Josh loves me, and I love him we've always been an escape for one another to go to, somewhere we can laugh about the reality and forget about our pasts.. and now we're loosing that. How do you tell best friend from friend? I should know by now seeing as there are multiple people I call my best friends its just. God. Here I go again depressing myself into recalling to the past, its gone, its over, I hate hurting.If best friend depends on who you spend most time with or whom you share more memories with day to day, would Michael be it? Because day to day.. hes the only one I really talk to. If thats the case then I'm falling back into old habits, which got me in trouble last time, I'm okay with not doing that again.
Joe and Mike are probably going helloooo right about now, and I love them both as well, but god..when was the last time I was actually close with a girl? Cassie but we're so up and down its hard to tell. Rosies never really around anymore and Jenna is practically out of the picture. I'm just so upset with myself that I don't have a truly steady relationship with anyone I'm 'close' to.
I wish I was naive again. What blissful, ignorant days. Its not even that I'm distressed or sad about this it just puzzles me. Maybe when for a year and a half you have one friend, than that one friend leaves and you're left with a blank board to make up in depth, close relationships with. My bad. Old habits die hard, I just hope I don't do that... again.
So confused. That I am.
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| way over my head here |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
my speakers don't work ;; |
] |
Hectic to the millionth power squared.
And I'm not exaggerating.
I have officially moved into the new house.
Its amazing. I'm in love.
I've bought tons of new stuff.
New bed. New frame.
New, new and more new.
But I'm too lazy to talk about anything other than that. Its basically been either me running around doing errands, or being on the phone with Michael Darling.
What a life I lead.
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| melt my cold, cold heart |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Norah Jones |
] |
Darling, darling I'm calling..
This is the way its supposed to be
Giddy and laughing the night away
Darling, darling I'm hoping..
That as long as I'm me and you're you
We'll always be..
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| if my sky should fall, would you even call? |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
What Am I to you?-Norah Jones |
] |
What more can I do?
Than give you everything.
Try my best to be my best for you.
I'm so confused.
God.
Aren't I enough for you?
Cause you don't show me.
And I can't make you.
I'm tired.
What am I to you? Tell me darling true..To me you are the sea fast as you could be and deepest shade of blue
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| some people have no lives |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
T.V |
] |
Livejournal Song
Turned on my computer, and what did i see?
my livejournal client staring back at me.
your my friend I'll add you to my list,
according to my current mood i'm pissed
as i'm currently listening to some song that's really "emo"
There are some things that you've got to know
on Live Journal, Live Journal
Chronicle your uncle's heart attack
on Live Journal, Live Journal
Making fun of your friend behind their back
on Live Journal
Customize your settings, and your profile
Click refresh a thousand times, this might take awhile
upload some pictures of your cat
and let the whole world know that you can't be ignored
all of this and more
On Live Journal, Live Journal
Mirrors on Shoes is back in full effect
On Live Journal, Live Journal
Find some new friends to infect (with live journal)
Some kids have blogs or diaryland,
for reasons i can't understand
scribble couldn't hold a candle to a livejournal paid account
what more can i say, or is that it?
besides the fact that LJ's the whip
It's time for me to log-out
There's one more thing that you've got to know
On Live Journal, Live Journal
Making fun of your friends behind their back
On Live Journal, Live Journal
Chronicle your gerbils heart attack
On Live Journal....So Live...So Journal...
L-I-V-E J-O-U-R-N-A-L
Live Journal, Live Journal
Making fun of your friends behind their back
On Live Journal, Live Journal
Find some new friends to infect....
With Live Journal.
|
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| i don't wanna know |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Blink 182 |
] |
JULIAN HAS MY CAMERA!!!
I can't update with pictures. I'm sad now.
I'll definetly wait to update about mine&Michael's trip to Winter Park to see Princess Bride. Pictures are just necessary. :)
( yours truly )
Wonderful day, wonderful night
Don't leave me, don't leave me..
|
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| little bit of heart and soul |
[ ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ecstatic |
] |
Josh: I just thought I'd tell you I'm sorry, I'm sorry for acting like an ass and not realizing the real reasons for everything. You mean the world to me and I'd be lost.. Well, lets not go there. I love you so very much.
Best friends are like lost dogs, they always find their way home.
|
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| ready, set, go.. |
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 scared |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
actual quiet |
] |
So, in every teen's life there is this point of no return.
A point retained and remembered.
I've reached one of those pivitol points tonight.
Love is this truly powerful emotion that most our age don't really know.
I had it. I lost it.
Now, I'm at this place where I miss it.
Having such a powerful connection with someone.
And at this place of doubt my desires to simply be in love again control me.
Michael is my savior, from this control it has on me.
He knows to not say it till you mean it.
I wish I had such a luxury.
Also, security.
I know that most of the relationships I've gotten in were by motive of security.
How depressing and revolting is that?
I doubt myself, so I date someone?
Of course it all comes back to the lame excuse, "My parents are divorced, thats why."
Don't go to the ocean if you don't plan on swimming.
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|
|
[] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
Heroes are made, not born.
|
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| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
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go |
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